Tuesday, February 17, 2009

First piece of actual advice

Here is my first installment on the advice front.
When faced with a crisis:

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

This is so very important. Don't take on the "what ifs" and "what'll we do's". Just take each day's problems and do your best. When the worries about the future set in, think "is there anything I can do about this situation right now?" If it's the middle of the night, chances are the answer is no. So let it go. If it's the middle of the day, and the answer is "yes" then go ahead and do it.

Don't worry about what might happen if this crisis continues, don't worry about how you'll handle it if it gets worse, don't worry about things you can't control.

And example: when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003, my children were quite young. I worried myself sick about how we would keep this family running while I was down & out with the side effects of chemotherapy. Who will drive them to school? How will they handle Mommy going bald? How will I keep them adequately fed while I'm puking? Well guess what - I didn't even HAVE chemotherapy!! Mastectomy then straight to Tamoxifen. All that worry for nothing.

Now notice, I'm not saying don't PLAN for the future. Go ahead and sign up for classes, or assistance, or counseling, or anything that will make the path smoother. But just don't WORRY about anything that isn't actually happening.

Thank you and good night

9 comments:

Lisa said...

I guess I'll have to find another hobby then.

Lisa said...

Yay! Thank you for removing word verification!

Shan said...

I'm gonna have to print out this mantra and post it on my fridge door! THANK YOU for the advice/reminder!

kim said...

This worries me.

Little Sister said...

You are dead on E. Diva. And I like to remind myself to always cut the drama. No need for it.

I think you were the one who said, "When you are in hell, keep going..."


Love your new blog and love you, sis.

Anita said...

It is so true! My mom is a worrier, and my sister and I preach to each other not to be like her in this way. We can all get caught up in it, but it doesn't help.
Great timing, thanks.

Mauigirl said...

This is so true. I too had cancer (tongue cancer in my case, caught very early). I was worrying my head off before having the surgery (which luckily left most of my tongue intact!) and my friend told me "It is what it is." And it calmed me - it meant to me that whatever happens, I can't change it, I will just deal with it when it happens. And, like you, all of my worst fears never happened - no chemo or radiation, etc.

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